All Nite Vans'
A collection of Vanning terms,
Organizations, and Expressions to help you better understand the vanning community.......or not.
This Page is a parody! Although based on fact, It's just for fun. if you have any additions, feel free to email me, I'll be happy to add them. If you feel the need to flame me, be forwarned. All past and future flames will be posted to my upcoming "House Of Flames" Page. So, have fun with it. Remember......it's just a joke, just a joke ,just a joke, just a joke........*
Asshole Trap: any wire, pole, stake, decoration or device which catches, trips, or impales a drunken asshole victim, including a piece of almost dead lawn furniture, left for the unwary, hence The name "asshole trap"
Bible: Almost always found in the Goody bag, Can Contain
a schedule of activities at the Run, A confusing map or maps, a list of things to do in the local area, if any,
sometimes a list of do's and don'ts, and once in awhile some amusing anecdotes. it Is Often not read until the
Blender or Binford blender: Basically, just as it sounds , as more and more vanners bring their own blenders and create Delicious and sometimes frightening and/or dangerous concoctions. See Also: Rules of engagement, Duct tape, Lawn chair
Council or Van Council: A group of vanners, Usually by region, representing council reps, who in turn represent their respective clubs.
Note: Not to be confused with Council
of Councils, or
"C of C", whose role is somewhat
unclear at times
Council of Councils: The overseers of the councils, although their Incomprehensible policies and rules of succession are almost identical to the Nats Board. See Also: Nats Board
Dash Plaque: A small icon or plaque, included in the Goody bag, representing that Run. Rarely attached to a dash board as magnetic properties, if any, will not adhere it to a plastic dashboard. the adhesive or tape included is usually nonfunctional. See Also: Duct Tape /Uses of
Designated sleeping area : Usually in a Vanner's own van, although it could include: Under the van, a tent, a sleeping bag, a lawn chair, or a pile of leaves. Generally it is considered bad form to tape and decorate a vanner in this area, but accidents have been known to happen.
see Also: Duct tape, lawn Chair
Duster: A trophy or award scorned by many vanners that think it's just a dust collector
and it's the run, not the award that matters.
Early, or Early Van: Referring to any early model of Van, spanning from the early to late 60's, Followed by a Mid, as in Mid Chevy, than, late models, which brings us to the present. although with the new "Euro turd melted in the rain" look of many of the new vans perhaps the category "Ugly" could be added.
Goodie or Goody Bag: A bag, presented by the Host Club at a Van Run. Can include a container of wd-40 lubricant barely large enough to service one matchbox vehicle, a sample of hand cleaner of a size to wash same vehicle, many bumper stickers of radio stations and organizations no one has ever heard of, several keychains of unknown origin, and promotional auto and racing stickers you'd look foolish applying to your vehicle. perhaps reflecting an ebbing sex drive, one condom is often included. The goody bag is a good source of kindling for a Ground fire, and the contents or lack of are a popular thing to whine about for many.
also may contain one "Bible" and
one "Dash Plaque",
Ground fire: A campfire usually confined to the ground but due to overzealousness, sometimes enveloping the surrounding campsites and buildings, which is typically not encouraged.
Hall Party: A party held sometimes to commemorate a date ie: a club's anniversary, but often held just as an excuse to get together with other Vanners. A great break from the "No RUNs Blues" During the winter.
Hard Luck Award or Trophy: An award or trophy given to a vanner when disaster strikes in the course of
making a Run. Generally given to a deserving vanner that has suffered a genuine hardship
such as a mechanical breakdown, accident, or the loss of a loved one(s) or family pet(s) enroute but still makes
the Run. Some absurd but actual reasons given to obtain this award include: "my radio broke and I had to drive 2 hours without tunes" and "I deserve it
because I got cheated out of that other award".
Host Club: A group of Dedicated vanners, usually, but not always one
club, that hosts a Truck-in, or Run.
They almost always work quite hard to ensure all have a good time. This is becoming increasingly difficult to do
as attendance is down at many Runs and the Host Club is very often on a break even or loss situation.
Jungle Juice: a concoction made of any left over booze, various fruits, and anything
that tastes reasonable, (or not), mixed, blended, or run over, served out of a garbage can, a wooden bucket, a glass, or perhaps a shoe See Also: Blender, Binford Blendor
Lawn Chair: At one time widely used as lawn furniture, although at a Truck-in it is actually a deadly trap for the unwary drunken vanner. In very rare cases can be used as a Designated sleeping area , although it is quite risky and can lead to inadvertent taping and torture.
See Also: Duct Tape, Designated Sleeping area
Mini-van: A vehicle that is the center of many heated debates as to it's qualifications as a van. Offtimes it is no bigger than a car, carries no more than a car, has doors like a car, and resembles a small, short, tall, car
See Also: Dustbuster
Mr. And Ms. Show: A competition open to all Vanners, usually held during a band break, at night, and in 20 degree temperatures. Often the contest leads to nudity and lewd behavior , Both on the part of the contestants, and the audience, although that is not usually considered to be a bad thing.
The largest of the Truck-ins. Held in a different location and hosted by a different club or clubs each year. Note: Not to be confused with the Nats board which does not actually host or do any physical labor during this event. That is done by the Host Club or clubs.
See also: Host Club
Nats Board: A small group of vanners that make the guidelines and own the name for a national truck -in. They are not elected to office by a majority vote of Vanners, but appointed by those within their own ranks. It is not certain what their full purpose is or what these guidelines might be as they become indignant, defensive and even abusive when asked by the very same people they claim to represent.
C of C Board
N.F.K. or No Fu#kin' Kids: A rule that attempts to prevent vanners from attending many runs with their children. This rule is usually proposed by Vanners that had their kids during their promiscuous youth and don't want any around now that they are grown. Though a reasonable idea late at night, during Mr. and Ms. Shows and most Hall Parties, it questions where the next generation of vanners are going to come from.
promoter: A term in disuse for some time but seeing an unwelcome comeback. Basically, one who promotes a run for no discernible vanning organization or reason and is mysterious and/or downright evasive when asked where the profits are going. The Promoter often claims to make no profit but holds increasingly larger events each year. This is or was considered unacceptable, as vanners generally give excess profits to charity and/or to support vanning in some form. these non "evants" aften drain vans and attendance from sanctioned runs held by and for real vanners.
Puppy, or Puppy Trucker: A novice Vanner, generally on his/her first run. Note: This is an endangered breed as too many vanners feel obligated to torture them to the point of extinction , thus ensuring they never return to another Run.
Qualude, or Lude: See also: Duct tape, lawn chair, Designated sleeping area
Rules of engagement: Varies from run to run and club to club. generally
limits and defines the amount of abuse doled out to any Vanner unlucky or dumb enough to pass out outside, or in any non Designated sleeping area. See Also:
Designated sleeping area, Lawn Chair, Duct tape
Run: A gathering of Vanners, or the actual act of going to a Run
See Also: Truck-in, Van Run
Show Puppy: A common , though not very complimentary term for a vanner that goes to a run mainly seeking a trophy or award for showing his/her van.
See Also: Duster
Sleazy Bar: a poorly put together bar, made of plywood,
cardboard, or most anything available ( preferab;y flammable, as the bar almost always ends up as fire fodder)
where one consumes odd concoctions , dishes out abuse (to both friends and puppies) occasionally does foolish acts
for t-shirts and other goodies, to come away feeling sleezey or waking up to a sleeze or being called sleezey. See also: Blender or Binford Blender
See Also: Run, Van Run
Virtual Vanner: A Vanner that has access to the internet. Increasing in popularity as more Vanners get online. Fills in the boring months with no Runs and many web sites provide info on clubs and future events.
"Wuz" Vanner: A vanner that usually does no runs other than the Nats, bores you with stories of how vanning "wuz", complains about the run he/she is at, yet will do little or nothing to improve vanning.
Walkabout: Literally, the act of walking about visiting other Vanners at their campsites during a Run.
Donny"the DJ", Webmangler
©1997-2001-Donny "The DJ" Pisarczyk